Old Personal: July 2003 Archives

I should perhaps follow up just a teeny bit on the whole Byatt/Potter thing. I'm quite appreciative of Su-lin's rather startling analysis of it here. As I've remarked recently, I seem to be quite sympathetic to people who are invested to the point that their writing constantly and inevitably returns to their master narrative. For the Economist, this is economic theory, free trade, competition; for Waugh this seems to be nostalgia, the past, Catholicism, the sense of loss and time passing. For Su-lin it's Fitzie :).

Just to clarify though, from Su-lin's entry (gently, so as not to offend), I don't feel "scoff" is quite the right way of describing my position on Byatt and Potter. True is the fact that I'm not commited to either and find myself largely agnostic in the midst of that particular quarrel.

Possession is not my favoritest of books, but there are portions that I find no end of intriguing (not just Val, which I find the most moving), especially the bits that the Potter article seem to illuminate. Largely because my Oral Assessment group ignored this when I brought it up, and as the Potter article elaborates, Byatt exhibits at least some form of knowledge/sympathy with Marxist rhetoric (if only by its pointed absence, as in Possession).

Particularly so with her incessant evocation of nostalgia and the expression of an irretrievable halcyon past - mixed with her scepticism/dismissal of the urban, the new, the economic. All a particular brand of rather unproductive Marxist thinking if you ask me - and which is particularly ironic coming from Byatt, expressed as it is in a hopelessly C/conservative register.

But while I obviously find the expression of this in Possession the most interesting portion of the book (noticeably also because it occupies a very marginal presence, away from the rather tedious letters and poetry) - and I find her bible thumping in the article simply distasteful - she does actually write with aplomb and with the skill and presence that attends a scholar and a woman of letters. The Salon.com idiot might as well go and write for the Guardian.

Regarding Harry Potter. If I hear myself say, yet again, that I'd read the Narnia Chronicles over again rather than Harry Potter, I'd probably be forced to keelhaul myself. Similarly with the whole Val thing in Possession.

My objection to Harry Potter is simply an aesthetic one, that I find the level at which it is reified by the superlative praise/evangelism that it recieves rather distasteful - quite aside from the content of the books themselves, the perusal of which is rather precluded by my distaste.

As Choon Ping once said to me regarding Moulin Rouge (and I suspect Su-lin said to me regarding Potter), I'm 'one of *those* people'. Though unfortunately having actually seen Moulin Rouge, I can at least with some authority say that I'd rather cut my heart out with a spoon than watch it again. Pretentious motherfucker (not Choon Ping, who is no end of clever despite questionable taste - I mean Luhrman). Harry Potter I can just dismiss like I dismiss Coldplay, as something which is so obviously not quite up to what it is purveyed to be. Though it doesn't help that Coldplay sucks ass.

I'm not in much shape to write terribly much, but I might as well. Have a newfound respect for Nigella, since, if her recipes are anything to judge by (Bloody Mary by the Pitcher to be exact), she's not one that's shy of her alchohol. I must say that was a fuck load of vodka to put into not that much more tomato juice.

Needless to say, now that my lovely Bordeaux glasses have arrived, tomorrow will be passed in a similar state of merriment, with what promises to be a rather handsome bottle of 2000 Bordeaux (young at the moment, but I'm testing before I plunge into buying a case to store).

Getting hammered of course requires doing rather passive activities, which in this case means watching Spooks, which, as the second season episode I watched promised, is pretty damn good. And Matthew MacFadyen (who was so wonderful in Poliakoff's Perfect Strangers) is absolutely the man.

If this morning was anything to go by, my mornings might well be take up in maintaining my contacts with Singaporeans through IM. Clarissa was nice enough to endure Louis and his incessent prodding/goading/grovelling. And whatever Clarissa's having, she must be smoking up a storm: her parting shot to me was that she thought Don't Stop (Funkin' for Jamaica) was rather good. It's a Mariah song. Moment of weakness I'm sure :D.

With my Mp3 cds around me again, I find myself rediscovering dusty things, just as I have been so eager to do with the buying of the Pixies etc. Morning Glory has really lost none of it's charm or verve, making their subsequent offerings all the more inexplicable. Diana Krall's 'All For You', which is now playing, is as always, sublime. None of her other albums really approach the tone and register that this one achieves, as far as I know. Maybe it's just Nat King Cole.

And I thought Byatt was full of tripe. I found what edel mentioned as the rebuttal to her article at Salon.com (not hyperlinked because they're probably as bad as the god-damn fucking Guardian) which is probably the most pathetic load of nonsense I've read since that article on Buffy from whereever. If you insist on seeing what drivel gets published by intellectual midgets you can have a look at this. It's almost worth the Salon daypass just to experience horror of that magnitude. Fuckwits.

Edel's blog has an article by A.S Byatt on Harry Potter. Being me, and not having read Harry Potter (not even when I'm high/tight) and pretty much disliking Possession (despite fantastic bits on Val) I'd just like to say, about that article - tripe. Tripe tripe tripe.

And about Su-lin's entry about RJ people collecting for charity? I sympatise, and I find her vignette quite effective, but I just remember being strong-armed into doing such nonsense and resenting it for years to come. And students forming lines to collect for charity (and I really mean no offence to dear Su-lin) makes me want to bludgeon them with a spoon. A spoon I tell you. Emotional blackmail is never pretty, and I refuse to feel guilty about emotional blackmail.

What I do feel probably altogether too self-congratulatory about is what I did just before I discovered that they no longer forced recruits to donate to the Community Chest, for fear of alienating them in the future, when they have more than $200 a month. The community chest guy told me that my company had an unusually high voluntary donation rate, which he attributed to my appealing to them, telling them of what I'd done as a recruit - clever people they are, using GIRO cuts out the negative utility from continually giving, ie not having to see students with cans.

I shall recommend TypePad to people when it comes out, Blogger has such consistent issues with its archives (at least on its free service), and is so much less feature rich (comments etc.). Though for the non-mental-midgets, hosted Movable Type is probably the way to go.

Just realised that I can actually host a whole bunch of e-mail addresses at the fallingbeam.org domain if I so chose. I really like the word biffing. Clever Waugh.

Speaking of Wilde, I probably regard him in a sense the way I regard Spinal Tap; as cultural artifacts who provide a frame of reference that has become divorced from the thing itself that had previously generated those reference points - and hence are things that are interesting to experience on those terms. Except that Spinal Tap is funny. And not quite so annoying.

Oh and just to say of people who give Liz Phair grief about working with Matrix, it's very much akin to Emen telling me I didn't have to move out last year from House H. So there.

Ari Fleischer, like, I suspect, people in government can tend to be, appears to be fundamentally dishonest. He was on Letterman a couple of days ago, and I've just watched it on my comp becasue I'd taped it. There has been no significant proof of chemical or biological weapons found. The fundamental reason they went to war, and why I supported the move to war, was the issue of defiance, not the issue of guilt. Which obviously I think the Economist makes clear here.

Deliberately misleading people is not a difficult thing to admit culpability for; obviously it's easier to just say certain things - when you're not sure how accurate information is - because you want it to be said. The alternative would require some measure of moral courage (to use a flagrantly army term), to not say things in earnest that you simply want to be true.

It seems I probably had the books I wanted to quote from when I was in York, or at least The Maltese Falcon. My stuff just arrived, together with my RAM. Haven't found The Rules of Attraction yet, but I'm sure it's somewhere, just hope it isn't Singapore.

The section I'm using from The Maltese Falcon is longer than I thought, and I'll finish typing the lot in later. I considered putting it on a seperate page, but it's important enough to put on the main site page - though when I fine Rules of Attraction, that quote will probably go first.

I must say that the Pixies rock big time, and my 4.1 speakers are quite a godsend in that respect. I actually downloaded Hotel Paper off Kazaa just to the the mp3s, since the Ogg files weren't using the 2 rear speakers. Then again it could just have been Winamp 2.

Hmm... checking out using my fallingbeam account for SMTP so again I don't have to be dependant on an ISP for sending mail. Finding out that actually the features of the hosting plan mail is quite cool, they actually allow both pop and imap, so if and when I ever migrate new addresses, they'll probably be fallingbeam addresses.

I know my site's been a bit neglected of late, except perhaps for the blog, but as I'm now in Chicago and ordering a sinful amount of computer hardware (RAM and 2 SATA drives for my RAID setup) I should be paying more attention to it. And also I no longer have the excuse of the books not being around for the front page quotes on my site. And all the assessment rubbish should be going too. Really need the RAID setup, since the IBM drive seems less than capable of dealing with the demands of video editing.

Found out that it's probably better to record Once and Again on analog cable rather than digital, less jerkiness. Oh and I'm taping Red Cap since it's not on DVD. I really wonder when I'll get around to watching all the crap I bought.

Oh and I've been using K++, not noticing too much difference from Kazaalite, been busy downloading the absolutely hot Liz Phair (thanks Tag and Rename) and getting the unaired episodes of Firefly. November seems a long way away to wait for the DVD.

Editing video is a bit tedious, but I suppose the policy is that I don't record to keep stuff unless it's not available to buy (yet at least) hence the taping of Once and Again season 2.

Gave Su-lin a little tutorial on using Kazaa. Su-lin seems to get it better than Peishan, though both had to be handholded - Su-lin just seems more intuitive about it. I get the feeling Su-lin takes issue with me railing against York, but then, as 'In a Lonely Place' suggests, there is every reason for being not 'normal'.

I'm still quite swayed by the idea that the film uncovers the futility of reading signs as if they were traffic-stop-signs, that the element of faith and belief - the appreciation of the unseen/unproven - is the post-lapsarian frustration of spirit in being unable to quite divorce the self from the need for interpretation, the need for reading and proof.

I don't think I'm wrong in asserting the urgency or primacy of this semiotic engagement in the period, I would assume that the detective fiction genre is merely a happy coincidence and convenient catalyst for these impulses.

Maybe Waugh can convince me to convert to Catholicism :P.

What? A tailor make a man?

As I pointed out to Eugene, I'm always more eloquent about things that I dislike. So let's just say Igby Goes Down is absolutely sublime. Even the musical director's occasional apalling taste in timing and music didn't detract so much from the fact that it's so incredibly affecting - so moving while being so absolutely hilarious.

It's a tribute to the director that the players in the film were so amazing despite being such mediocre actors elsewhere. Amanda Peet and Jeff Goldblum (who I normally despise like I despise Ulrika) were actually fantastic, as was the normally so wooden Ryan Phillipe. Bill Pullman of course was immaculate and Susan Sarandon flawless - but I was just taken aback by how much Kieran Culkin resembled a young Robert Downey Jr. - with all that ambiguity of will and succeptablity to tempation, not to mention the pervasive sadness and shiftiness in his eyes. Claire Danes played up the snotty pseudo intellectual college girl with aplomb, and regardless looks rather nice in her knickers and not much else.

They have Red Lights lighting the way from the main escalator well to the various cinemas, presumably to allow people to adjust to the relative darkness of the cinema. The corridoor I passed on the way to the film smelt of BMTC; which made me a bit unsteady for a while, so I had to hold on the the handle of the door.

I suppose it's been quite an eventful day, and not totally annoying for being graduation. The ceremony itself was pathetic till the guy from Aardman Animations came to give his speech, which I thought was quite okay, he seemed really quite affected by what was being proffered to him - which is a nice thing to witness.

Still not enough happened for me to take off my shades on approaching the Vice Chancellor. It was my little tribute to Less Than Zero, and the spirit I suppose of Rules of Attraction - I think reading The Sword of Honour Trilogy is getting to me, in a good way.

Only spoke to Ini (don't even know if that's how his name is spelt), which makes me wish I could contact him and be nice for having been so sullen when I saw him. Wish Johnny had been there, he would probably have been the other person I'd bother to talk to. The rest can pretty much carry on sucking eggs.

The day could only get better from there, had lunch with the parentals at Cafe Uno, bought a suit which I'm quite taken with.

Had a nice cathartic encounter with the porter etc. which I'm feeling vaguely guilty for now. It's a pity that something so good, that you dream about doing so much for so long, should have to lead to this kind of nagging niggling remorse. Probably feeling so guilty cuz I'm feeling happier, less in a funk over the whole graduation fuckshit, after spending the evening with Eugene, Delwyn and Dion.

We actually went to Symrin, which turns out to be just a dinky little takeaway instead of the restaurant I'd envisioned. The woman/owner was as affable as she always is over the phone, and it was a real pleasure to see her finally.

She and her shop seemed like such a fixture in the community there, with people constantly coming and going out of the shop, that she had hardly a free minute to banter with us. I could say something asinine about immigrant integration, but that just seems rather trite and out of place.

But she really knew all her regulars by name and they all treated her like pretty much a community leader, a figurehead of a family. She'd send regards to peoples' families, and would great people with a chirpy "hello trouble". She reminded me of Arun, and the lay philosophies that he was so assured of - especially around the subject of money.

After dinner was time for all out gossipmongering session, bringing up Cain from the past year, such as there was, and rehashing the old favorites that Eugene had not quite heard of. Eugene of course had plenty that we found new. But I suppose, like amsterdam, what's spoken of in Eugene's kitchen stays in Eugene's kitchen. Unless you ask. Doesn't even have to be nicely.

But plenty of shoveling going on about practically every non-ninja Singaporean/peripheral for the past couple of years. And I mean all. Fun fun fun.Eugene is one crazy open mouthed fucker - ie fantastic. I was rolling on the floor laughing for most of the time - literally. From the insight he gave in to Emen though, makes me think better and better of our mutual friend (not that I had though badly in any way to begin with). Makes me wish I had spent more time with Emen - clever Emen.

I can feel my Organ of Veneration acting up again. Su-lin's blog is quite engaging. For those that have not found the wonders of it, her blog is here. I'll probably but a permanent link to it sometime. But yes, I like the story about her skiving sister which you can find here. At the time of posting it was the most recent entry. Nice, charming, engaging - and at points revealing a kind of depth of feeling in tandem with a sentimental attachment to family - which even for her is ever so ambivalent.

I have two rather distinct ways of thinking of sentimentality but hopefully the import of the word itself is allowed to be dependant on context rather than rigid meaning/association. But then I probably prize ambivalence too much for anything so clear - helpful huh?

It'd be nice to think that I have a Great Story to tell, and that one day I will find a way to write it. But then I feel the need to just get Any Story down on paper, lest greatness never materialises.

Tried calling Cari, shall try to leave my TV with Ve-Yin for her to pick up - hopefully Jason's coming down with her, so they won't have too much trouble with it all.

Hmm... still resentful? Oh Yeah Baby. Motherfuckers.

I am feeling a huge great swell of seething resentment towards this university and the whole graduation rigmarole.

Nice obliging Emen came to visit my lovely blog/site. Nice to see him rather amused. Louis aims to please. But yes, clever Emen. Louis is starting to sound more like Su-Lin for some reason. Soon I'll start going "heh" in IM conversations.

Busy busy busy. Will probably be going to Manchester tonight to play mahjong and pick up the parental units tomorrow morning.

I've migrated my phone to pay as you talk, instead of actually cancelling the phone, which seems to be easier, I'll have to get them to send my bill to Manchester so it's easier for Delwyn to pay my last bill. I'll have to give them a call again.

Unfortunately when I go in to close my bank account, I'll probably be putting money in rather than taking it out. I'll have to ask if they have any alternative accounts I can move to so that I can pay my mobile bill instead of Delwyn. Will have to cancel my direct debit as well though.

Ordered the Gianduja, hopefully it'll reach the hotel in time, don't quite know if the paper ticket will make it here in time.

The graduation stuff can be picked up tomorrow at 4 or something from Physics, and I'll probably return Su-Lin's book then, or later tonight before dinner.

So yes, busy - all without leaving my room.

Hmm, it seems that my ravings about getting a starred first were rather premature, so, well, that's that. Only thing that saved me from 2.1 anonymity was my hardworking nature for my Norse translation, which no doubt pulled up the marks of that module to 70. No surprises for which module the 50 was for... Richard Walsh apparently does have a sense of smell, giving me a 68 :P.

The whole CD buying spree has been pretty rewarding, if only for the fantastic cover of "Wild Honey Pie" by the Pixies on the Live at the BBC disc.

Just watched an episode of Spooks, and lets just say I'll be buying the Season 1 DVD sight unseen. Very impressive, the 6 episode season format really does seem to do wonders for QC with the BBC. Will probably consider getting Red Cap as well, just for cute blondy woman whose name I can't remember right now: ah, Tamzin Outhwaite.

Still no reply from Cari, so I'll have to see her after graduation.

Feeling retiscent despite the things that are happening, probably because it's just busy stuff and other people's problems that are coming up. Otherwise, still glorying in the firstness of my first. Shall skulk round the department office tomorrow and try and find out my detailed results. Really wonder if I should fight for my starred first.

I do however, have a bunch of CD's now that dig deep into the Throwing Muses ouvre in particular, as well as getting more of the Pixies, and the first Breeder's album. Woo hoo.

Spong was at Ve-Yin's place and answered the door, cuz Ve-Yin was at the gym.

Cari hasn't replied yet, but anyway Delwyn's coming down tomorrow to pick up stuff, so can't really go down anyway, unless I just go after noon, and mostly to deliver the TV and get sloshed.

Got a haircut from James again, at Sharp. Pity that just as I've found a hairdresser I like, that I have to leave. But then I'm leaving York, so...

Shall wonder at Peishan's lack of appearance and ask her about it.

Still feeling out of it despite having been back for the weekend - a bit strange, but not entirely unpleasant. Shall go off and take a shower.

For whatever strange reason, it's my old blog that's been getting the most hits, probably cuz it has the most text of the whole site - though the search strings that lead people here are a bit predictable - mostly stuff with subtitles somewhere. Ah well.

Oh, and the general consensus among the 3 of us, ie: Dion Delwyn and I, is that what happens in Holland, stays in Holland.

So you're going to have to ply us with vice to get anything out of us. As far as I know, officially: "We went the to see the museums".

I've got a first. Yay for me :D. Tell me how clever I am here.

I'm in Amsterdam:P. Woo Hoo. Using the rather naff comps (all macs) at the hostel I'm staying at. Keyboard is awful, so more when I get back. I love it here. It may be my new home.